Fullmetal Sensei Edward Elric!
by GYRAX
Summary: Through a twist of fate, and because of a freak accident, Ed and Al have to be alchemy instructors to an all girls' class of twenty five students. 4th Chapter is up.
1. Alchemy 101

Note: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!

Through a twist of fate, Ed has to be an Alchemy teacher for twenty-five female students. This won't end well for the poor guy.

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GYRAX Presents… 

**Fullmetal Sensei Edward Elric!** Volume 1

Lesson 1:**Alchemy 101**

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"All right, ladies!" A girl called out. "Ready for this?" She appeared to be in a circle of seven girls. They each had their hands overlapping one another, and they were all encircling one large transmutation circle, and this was all taking place in front of Central HQ.

The girl who spoke was the leader girl; she had black hair that extended to her shoulders, and it parted from the center of her face. She wore slim glasses over her thing gray eyes.

To her left, a brunette had her brown hair was almost shoulder length, a bit ruffled up, and it parted from the right side of her face; a long strand of hair covered her right ear and a shorter strand covered her left one. The hair color suited her large sapphire blue eyes very well.

A blue-haired girl stood at the brunette's left. Her hair also split from the center of her face, but it only ran halfway down to her neck; two short but thick strands went over each of her ears. Her eyes were a grayish yellow shade, but they glimmered brilliantly in the sun. They were large and very innocent looking.

To the blue-haired girl's left was a shorter girl, actually the shortest of the group, with her hair tied up in a ponytail. It was shining black with red streaks running down her head. Her hair parted from the left side of her face. Her eyes were a good dark shade of brown.

To her left stood a tall girl with a nice tan. Her hair was in an extremely dark brown, almost black really, and it extended to her back. Her bangs didn't part, but they went over her ears. Her eyes were a lighter brown, but not much lighter.

To the tan girl's left stood a taller brunette. Her auburn hair extended all the way to her kneecaps, and it parted from the center of her face, completely covering up her ears. One long hair antenna came out of the center. Her eyes were also brown, but of a darker color.

A redhead stood at the taller brunette's left and the black-haired girl's right. Her orange hair was wavy, her strands squiggling and nicely curling at the ends, extending to her lower back. Her bangs parted way from the center of her face and two shorter hair antennae sprout from where the bangs separated, plus a thick and wavy strand covers each of her ears. Her hair matched her yellow eyes very well.

"Is everything as it should be, leader?" The shorter brunette said.

"Everything is in order." The leader four-eyed girl answered. "We're here to put up a show, and a show the military will definitely get. Once they see what we can do, they'll have to let us in."

"I'm nervous. Are you sure this will work?" The short, blue-haired, more innocent-looking young girl said, obviously nervous.

"No need to worry." The leader girl replied. "We practiced this for several weeks, remember?"

"I guess." The nervous young woman sort of replied; she was still nervous.

"I just wish that cute alchemist boy was here to watch." Said the yellow-eyed redhead.

"Enough small talk. Let's do this." The only woman with glasses replied. As the seven girls were getting ready for the massive-scale transmutation, an audience watched on in awe and curiosity. Among that audience was Alphonse Elric, and the Fullmetal Alchemist himself Edward Elric. Like the rest of the audience, the two brothers were also curious as to what was going on. They had to push over to get a clearer view of what was happening. Once they got through the crowd, they looked over at the circle of young girls and the transmutation circle they were standing around. Ed took a minute or two to analyze the situation in front of him. His thinking cap was put into full motion as he inspected every slight detail of the great circle before him, and finally he caught on to something.

"This doesn't look right." Ed said quietly. He turned to Al, who was standing on his right. "Al, do you notice something here?"

"That's quite a display those girls are putting up." The suit of armor answered with a pinch of enthusiasm in his voice.

"It's not just the display." The shorter but older of the two replied. "Look closely at the transmutation circle." They both took a close and thorough look at all of the circles. Their faces became those of concern as they took a step back. Al didn't have facial expressions to show worry, but you could see it in him through that pokerfaced helmet.

"Their transmutation circle is a bit sloppy." Ed remarked. "Whatever they're going to pull off won't work. A few key parts of the circle are completely absent."

"I see it now." Al replied. "Should we tell them?"

"I don't see why not." Ed answered. "But it looks like we're too late to make that move. Look."

"Commencing Operation Concrete Tree!" The girl in the center shouted. Instantly after, the entire circle began to glow in a brilliant blue aura. The aura grew brighter every second as everyone watched the display in shock and awe. Then something started to come out of the circle. Concrete ribbons sprouted out of the circle and seemingly grew higher into the air. They began to wiggle as if they were struggling to get out. But in a split second, those ribbons suddenly became even more alive and threw themselves into a fit of rage. The concrete ribbons have gone flinging themselves wildly and went into attack mode, causing immediate panic. One of them sliced a tree in half, cutting the wood nicely, and causing a few of the weaker branches to fall off.

A few more struck the floor directly, throwing a few spectators back from total shock. The physical impact could easily be seen in the form of the large cracks on the concrete. Ed and Al had no choice at the moment but to high tail it out of there for the time being.

A couple more of the monstrous ribbons grew right towards two offices. They came at lightning speed and shattered the windows, as well as break through the walls that separated the offices from the outside, crumbling them to bits. Add to it that they completely destroyed the hardwood floors and tore the rugs into pieces, as well as break the desks and throw everything that was placed in them on the floor and into total disarray. The military officials that were placed in them didn't see it coming, so they were shaken once the attack happened. Luckily, none of them were injured.

"ABORT OPERATION!" The leader girl shouted from the top of her lungs. All seven of them broke off and backed away from the glowing monstrosity of a circle after immediately. That was all they needed to do to stop the rampage. The concrete ribbons, which were wreaking massive havoc a second earlier, have now been subdued; a better term would actually be frozen in their tracks, as they seem to have been after the transmutation was terminated early, which the seven young women were lucky it was because the concrete ribbons almost have stricken them before they backed away and ended the operation; it was really too close for comfort in their case. The girls took a few minutes to assess the damage.

Ed and Al stopped and looked back after they noticed the silence that came after the impending siege stopped early. What they saw was concrete ribbons going every which way, some have already stricken the floor, some have taken out a few trees, splitting them in half and taking out a number of branches, a few went farther and destroyed a few offices, the damage clearly evident, and the rest were just in the air like they were out reaching for the sun. They also saw the seven girls encircled around it, all of them with expressions that were clear evidence they knew they were in deep trouble.

The small brunette turned to the leader girl and shifted her blue eyes at her, shaking in absolute fear for the impending consequences. "Oh God! We're in deep trouble!"

"What now?" Asked the only redhead in the group. "How are we going to explain this?"

"We can't." The four-eyed leader girl replied. "This was clearly our fault. We missed something crucial for the operation to run successfully. That was clearly a mistake on our part."

"But…" The ruffle-haired little lady trailed off.

"You're right about one thing." The raven-haired leader put her right index finger on the bridge of her glasses and pushed them up. "We're screwed."

"I assume you're going to be on trial soon." Said a male voice from behind the black-haired young woman. All seven turned to see whom it was. It came to their utter surprise when they saw Ed and Al behind them. All of the girls felt her hearts jump up and almost break out of her chests as the pure shock practically electrocuted them.

Ed spoke again. "Well, since you're going to trial, I'll save my superiors the trouble and we'll come with you as witnesses."

(O)

"I want each of you to stand up and identify yourselves." Demanded an inquirer with a stern look in his eyes. He stood at the front of the rather immense military courtroom, with the seven girls standing behind the defendant's pew. The courtroom was spacious, white concrete walls nicely separate the inside from the out, white marble covered the floor, and the ceiling was seemingly five stories high. In the center of the front wall hung a nicely woven green rug with gold fringes and the state insignia sewn in white and in the middle of the rug.

The center area consisted of two rows; each consisting of ten pews, excluding the defendant's pew on the left and the plaintiff's on the right, each filled with five to twelve people, a center walkway, and two more walkways at the ends of the center area. Nicely decorated pillars were all that separated the center area from the two hallways at the ends of the courtroom.

All seven girls geared up for their trial. The raven-haired leader girl was the first to speak. "The name's Lebia Malkovich, age seventeen."

The small ruffle-haired young lady was the next to stand. "Lisa Franksteiner, age fifteen."

The nervous bluenette followed her. "Meryl Burgundy, age fifteen." She scratched the dark blue hair on her head.

The shortest of the group stood up after. "Zhang Han, age nineteen."

The young tanned woman was next. "Marcia Del Rey, age sixteen."

The taller brunette followed her. "Alex Miyamoto, age seventeen."

The redhead was the last one to stand. "Enya Milosovich, age sixteen."

"Very well then." The interrogator complied. "Now let's get to the topic." He took a few seconds pause to get ready to question the seven young women before him.

Lebia looked back at the others and nodded her head, suggesting that they were to let her do all of the talking.

The inquirer spoke again. "What exactly was your intent? What were you trying to pull off?"

"It was all the result of a grave error on out part, sir." Lebia said sounding as composed as any professional could be. Her unruffled tone was a bit of a shock to Ed and Al, who stood at the center walkway at the right end of the defendant's pew.

"An error?" The inquirer asked.

"I couldn't explain exactly what the problem was, but the disaster was not intentional. That we're sure of." The others nodded furiously.

She continued. "All we wanted was to put up a display, to show the military that we had the potential to become state alchemists."

"A display?" The inquirer said, raising an eyebrow.

"They intended," Ed interjected. "To transmute the concrete into the form of a large tree of sorts, but a few minor parts of their transmutation circle were missing and their transmutation had gone completely awry, throwing itself into a fit or rage that cost a bit of damage to Central." He turned to Al. "You noticed it too, right Al?"

The large suit of armor that was his brother nodded. "Of course."

"So in short, we overlooked a few things." Lebia replied. "That goes to show you that all we need is refinement and we'll definitely have potential to become alchemists for the Military."

"Excuse me?" The inquirer said, his eyebrow almost reaching for the ceiling.

"Well, you heard Mr. Ed's testimony." Lebia answered. "We overlooked a few key parts and our alchemy was sloppy. We had potential, but we made a horrible judgment in actually puling it off without fully understanding the transmutation circle that we have drawn. We were ignorant and didn't know better, and we paid for it with the current disaster that befell on us and on Central. If we can only receive the discipline, hone in the skills, and gain the knowledge needed to perform more advanced transmutations and get through the more advanced levels of alchemy itself, then we may prove to be very useful to your cause, whatever it may be. We have potential and willpower, we just need permission to further study Alchemy."

"Way to go, Lebia." Han gave her the thumbs up.

"It's nothing really." Lebia replied. "I'm just trying to find another way out of our scenario. But they say if you aren't helping, then that means you're digging up your own grave, and probably that of your friends." She pauses to analyze something. She spoke again. "Hmm…it doesn't look like this man is going to change for the better, so I think I dug up our grave pretty nicely."

"So," Lisa replied, her eyes tearing up. "We're screwed!"

(O)

"You're lucky." The older Elric said as he, along with Al and the seven girls behind them, were walking down the main road. It was ten minutes after the trial was over and Ed was already irritated at something. "The Fuhrer just happened to be at the trial and he just had to the usual crackpot that he is. It was his idea that I had to be assigned with the temporary job of being an alchemy teacher for the seven of you." He turned to the girls behind him. "You have to thank Fuhrer King Bradley for that."

"So that was the Fuhrer?" Lebia asked as a response.

"Yep." Ed replied. "Also, thank whatever God you have that the Brigadier General wasn't at the trial."

"I'll keep that in mind." The four-eyed leader girl complied.

"So anyway," Ed added. "You'll be taking Alchemy class next week, so you need to be prepared."

"That is good to hear." Lebia replied.

"Not for me." Ed remarked. "I don't really feel like teaching, I'm really busy with something, and add to it I have to study all of the principles alchemy myself. No offense, but I don't know if I'm really suitable for something like that."

"You're the legendary Fullmetal, right?" Lebia asked as a response. "You got your state license at age twelve. I'm sure you'll teach us all we need."

"Why do you want to be in the Military so badly?" Ed asked.

"That we do not wish to disclose at the moment." Lebia responded.

"Ok…" Ed replied. He turned forward and thought to himself. _She acts a lot like a certain Colonel. Come to think of it, she even resembles him._ The thought made him cringe mentally. He attempted to regain his composure. "All right, so Alchemy seminars will start next week and will run Mondays through Fridays at 8:00 AM to 11:00 AM. As for the rest of this week, we'll open this class to anyone who wishes to sign up and join the program."

"Sounds good." The raven-haired young woman replied. "It seems like you'll be a busy kid."

"Spare me." Ed replied.

"While we're at it, you can make me the class rep." Lebia continued.

"Why should YOU be the class rep?" Alex protested.

"Because I was the one who went through the trouble to cover your asses and get us a shot at Alchemy class." The young woman replied. "And thus, I should be the class rep as some sort of a reward for my efforts. Equivalent Exchange. Isn't that right, Ed?"

"Yeah." Ed sighed, more and more convinced that maybe she might be related to that big-mouthed colonel with a possible pop star complex Roy Mustang.

Poor Elric Brothers; they have a hell of a lot of work ahead, and they never even took a babysitting job before.

(O)

As the week passed by, Ed and Al mentally and physically prepared themselves for the upcoming challenge at hand and the obstacles that may be in their way. It was a strenuous exercise the two brothers went through every length they could ever go through to get ready for their new teaching job. That Sunday, they received news that twenty-five students will be taking the class, so Ed and Al were to expect a difficult test in the teacher position themselves. By the time that Sunday was over and evening passed, Ed and Al were ready to take on the challenges ahead of them and all that they needed to do was take some rest, so they did so.

(O)

Monday morning has finally arrived. Ed awoke to the bright orange sunlight beaming down on his face. Since he got the position as Alchemy instructor, he and Al managed to get their apartment at East City; the Alchemy seminars were also to take place here. Since they were to be teaching here, they wouldn't be able to do much traveling, and so it was decided that Ed and Al took residence in a new apartment, since they didn't have a home to start with. Al was sitting on a wall near Ed's bed.

Ed pushed his body up, which was the first chore of the day. He took in the sunlight that planted on his face and looked at Al. He shoved himself off the bed and approached him with calm and confidence. "Wake up, Al. Today is the day. You ready for this?"

"I can't sleep, remember?" Al replied. "I don't even have a body, so I no longer have the ability to sleep."

Ed just face faulted after hearing that. How could he have possibly forgotten that?

Al continued. "This job will really cut back on our much needed time to find the Philosopher's Stone."

"I know, but we can't do anything at the moment." Ed replied. "All we can do is flow with the scenario and hope for the best. We can always look for it on our free time. I'm sure we'll have more than enough time to search for it. I'll just have to fit it in our new schedule. Plus we have the all the time in the weekends to find it, so don't worry too much."

"That's true, Brother." Al agreed.

"So how about we get teaching, Al?" Ed remarked.

(O)

It was decided that Ed's class was to take place in the cafeteria, since they didn't have a proper classroom for the seminars. Ed was to teach from the other side of the cafeteria's window; he stood next to a blackboard on wheels, which was convenient because what's a classroom without a blackboard? A few minutes earlier, a military official handed Ed the student roster, which he was to look over and memorize. Al stood beside him as the two of them were taking a good look at the book that contained the student roster as part of its contents. Something bothered Ed, as he looked it over and over again.

"There are no guys here." He said with frustration in his voice, mixed in with bewilderment.

"What do you think the reason is?" Al asked.

"No clue." The older Elric replied. "Considering most of the state alchemists, if not all of them, are male. You think less and less guys want to take alchemy possibly because of the complications that ride with it, or is it some other reason?"

"Scientists theorized that girls' brains develop faster that boys do." Said a female voice. Ed and Al turned towards the entrance of the cafeteria and they saw Lebia standing with the other six girls that they met from last week.

"You sure about that?" Ed replied.

"It's only a theory, so don't jump to anything." Lebia answered.

"I noticed you aren't in your uniforms." Ed commented after a bit of analysis on Lebia.

"Well," The young woman with the shining glasses replied. "The jackets are itchy as hell. I know; I had to wear the damn thing while getting my photo taken in Central for your student roster."

"Speaking of, can I look at it?" Han said.

"Knock yourself out," Ed replied. "But return it to me before class starts, I need to memorize it."

"Okies." Han walked over to look at the book. "Wow, they really did put everything about us on this thing." She took a closer look and found her won photo. "I'm student number 4."

"You should already know that by looking at the number on your jacket's right sleeve." Ed remarked. "Match that number with one of the numbers on one of the tables and that's your seat."

"…Interesting system." Lebia commented. "You know what? I think I'll change, now." She heads towards a restroom at Ed's left, but before she gets in, she turns towards her friends. "You guys going in, too?"

"Sure." Lisa answered. Just after, she and the other girls followed Lebia to the girls' room. Han was the last to follow, as she returned the student roster to Ed's desk, or rather, Ed's personal wooden table, which was in front of the cafeteria's tables.

Just as Ed picked up the roster book off his desk, the door at his right opened up and another girl got into the cafeteria. She had a big smile in her face and looked very prepared. Ed took a look at the grinning girl. Her hair was short, like halfway down her neck short, and it curved up a bit at the end. It parted at the left side of her face and it curved at the sides of her face and covered her ears. The color of her hair was a beautiful light pink, the color of cherry blossoms. Her eyes were gentle but confident, like Ed's eyes, but they glimmered like marbles and they were in a pretty blue-violet.

Ed looked back to his student roster and looked for a picture of her. In a second or two, he found it. Under the picture was her identity; she was Student #15, Nami Hayashibara.

Ed also noticed something else about Nami; she was wearing the school uniform. The outfit consisted of a navy blue blazer jacket, her left pocket had the State's crest sewn on it and her right sleeve had the number "15" on the edge of it. Under the blazer was a pure white button-down shirt with a navy blue tie, which was tucked in the blazer. Her skirt was tan and brown plaid and it went halfway down to her knees. Under her knees were navy blue socks and black shoes covered her feet.

Nami was looking around the cafeteria. "I heard I was going to have a pipsqueak for an alchemy teacher. So where is he?"

Ed instantly turned on his "Kill Switch". "WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN INFINITESIMAL SPEC EVEN SMALLER THAT A COOKIE CRUMB?"

"I wasn't talking about you!" The pink-haired little girl spat back.

Ed approached her with a demonic glare in his eyes. "You need to do something about that attitude of yours, you little brat!"

"For your information," Nami retorted. "I'm seventeen!"

Ed looked down on her; she seemed to be ten centimeters shorter than he was. "Well, you're awfully short for your age."

Before he knew it, Nami's right foot reached for the sky, striking Ed's chin in the process in a monster high kick. Ed fell on the ground, rubbing his chin in attempt to take the pain away hastily. He looked up at her and intensified his glare.

"You can't attack your teacher! That's against regulations!" He shouted.

"HAH! YOU'RE my teacher?" The small girl spat out.

"Yes he is." A voice said from behind her. Before she could turn, though, she was hit in the head by something. She rubbed her head in pain and turned around to see who had the gall to smack her in the backside of her head. She looked up and saw Lebia, standing there in her school uniform and holding a paper fan; it was unfolded.

"What the hell is your problem?" Nami cried out.

"You are to treat Mr. Ed with utmost respect, got it?" Lebia replied. "Unruly behavior will not be tolerated, or Mr. Ed will have no choice but to chastise you."

"Fine," Nami retorted. "Just leave me the hell alone."

"That tone of voice will not be tolerated, either." Lebia replied.

"You don't need to make my decisions for me!" Ed shouted.

"Besides, this isn't YOUR class!" Nami spat out. "So keep your fish lips shut!"

"YOU DARE CHALLENGE MY UNPARALLELED BEAUTY!" Lebia screamed out, holding her unfolded paper fan over her mouth to cover up her expression.

"I'll go a step further," Nami retorted. "And give you a makeover!"

"STOP IT!" Alphonse cried out to abruptly break off the fight. "WE HAVE AN HOUR UNTIL CLASS STARTS AND ALREADY YOU'RE MAKING A RUCKUS!"

"Who's that?" Nami was kind of baffled over seeing the behemoth suit of armor in front of her, speaking in a child's voice even.

"Al Elric." Lebia answered. Nami just looked at her with a vein popping in her forehead. The black-haired young woman continued. "And beside him is his older brother, Mr. Ed Elric."

"How could a small boy walk around in that armor?" Enya asked, walking around Al and inspecting him, looking for an opening so she could see if there is a little boy in there.

Let's not worry about that." Ed answered. "Anyway, I like to ask if we have a school bell installed somewhere. I would like an indication as to when class will start and end."

"Why don't you look?" Nami replied. "It's on the wall behind you."

Ed looked back to see a large brass bell hanging on the wall behind him. He started to feel a bit uncomfortable, and a few drops of sweat down his right cheek showed it. "Great. I'm going to be startled out of my wits every time class starts AND ends."

"To think they would've found a better place to put it." Al added.

"I think they're just messing with you." Han said jokingly.

As the hour passed, more and more students started coming in the classroom, or military cafeteria, whatever you call it, and started walking around the place to get themselves adjusted. Ed and Al grew a bit more and more uneasy when one more girl got into the room, but they managed to keep themselves composed. The last of the students, #24 Allison Bluecrow, finally entered the room three minutes before the class started.

The bell rung, and it wasn't as loud as the Elric brothers thought it would be.

(O)

"All right," Ed cleared his throat. "First off, look at the numbers on your sleeves. If they don't match the number on the seat you're sitting at, then it's not your seat." A few girls stood up and switched seats with one another. After they found their proper seats, Ed continued. "All right, then. Allow me to introduce myself. I am your sensei, Edward Elric." He motioned his right hand towards Al. "And this is my assistant Alphonse Elric. He's also my little brother."

He walked towards the blackboard and picked up a piece of white chalk. He began writing. "You can call me Ed-sensei, Mr. Ed, or Mr. Elric, etc. What you aren't allowed to address me as, is 'Shorty', 'Shrimp', Pipsqueak', 'Tiny', 'Ant', 'Tiny Ant', 'Mr. Shortpants', 'Shorty McShort-Short', 'Flea', Ant-Flea', 'Shrimp Cocktail', 'Little Shrimpy-poo', or 'Unicellular Diflatulent Algae'. Nothing that's derogatory against my size, got it?"

"Got it." Every student spoke in unison.

"Next order of business," Ed continued. "Since Lebia Malkovich is student #1, she'll be the class representative."

"That little protohominid bitch with a God complex is Iincho?" Nami protested.

"Watch your mouth, child!" Lebia replied. She went over to the blackboard and picked up a piece of chalk that Ed didn't already have. "You want me to fling THIS at you?"

"Try me, human tadpole!" Nami spat back. Without hesitation, Lebia did just that, but Nami dodged the flying chalk and came right at her, tackling her on the spot, and starting a massive fight. A large cloud of dust and smoke covered the fight as Nami and Lebia were going at each other's throats. A few of the other students joined the fight, and the dust cloud got bigger as the fight got worse. The girls who didn't join the fight were slapping their foreheads, obviously showing embarrassment.

Ed had to do something, so he screamed. "STOP THIS RIGHT NOW, OR I'LL HAVE TO SEVERELY CHASTISE YOU!" That apparently didn't get through, as the big cloud of dust was still there. Out of the blue, an empty bucket hit Ed upside his cranium, knocking him on the floor.

Al only looked over at his elder brother, who lay on the ground in front of him. "Brother…" A sweat drop ran down his helmet of a head.

(O)

"I can't take it!" Ed cried out. He and Al were walking down the main road, as class has now ended, or better to say 'finally' ended in their case. "I was supposed to be prepared for everything, but throughout all three hours of the class, it was just fight after fight between Nami and Lebia, with nine or ten other students in it. Sometimes, their fights became gladiator-scale battles, with buckets swinging all around the place, some of them still had water, and they spilled all over the floor, leaving me to clean it up."

"I helped." Al added.

"But it even got worse from there!" Ed retorted, showing his frustration without hesitation. "One of the girls threw a chair and almost killed me! Add to it another piece of chalk broke a light on the ceiling! That light almost fell on me. I would've been electrocuted!"

"That wasn't all it was." Al replied.

"Yeah, it was." Ed said back. "What progress do you think we made today? Tell me."

"Well, let's see…" Al trailed off. There was a long pause as Ed and Al stood absolutely still for a minute. The silence was apparent as the wind was heard blowing the air in the direction it felt like blowing, wherever tit wanted to blow. The bulb finally lit up in Al's head. "You introduced yourself to the class."

"What else?" Ed added.

"I have to think harder." Al answered, a bead of sweat on the back of his head.

"Face it," Ed cried out. "The class went nowhere!"

"I don't think so." Al replied, in a failed attempt to cheer up his older but smaller brother. "Anyway, where exactly are we going?"

"Somewhere." Ed answered, with a hint of frustration in his voice. "I'm thinking of just stopping altogether."

"You're going to give up after the first day?" Al protested.

"You think we have what it takes to survive another day of that hell?" Ed retorted. "I'm going to Mustang's office, and I'm going to have him relay a message to Central saying that I demand my resignation as an alchemy teacher!" Ed started to pick up speed. Al noticed this and started to accelerate as well.

"Brother?" Al tried to get through his head again. What they didn't know was that Lebia and her friends were hiding in a bush, overhearing the conversation they just had. What Ed screamed out worried them. They turned to one another.

"Not good. Not good!" Lisa trembled, and why not? Their alchemy class just might be canceled after just one day.

"Damn!" Enya muttered. "And we all know whose fault that was."

"I know." Lebia replied.

"C-can't we do something about it?" Meryl stammered. "This will put all of our ambitions in jeopardy!"

"I don't know what I can do," Lebia answered. "But hell, I'll try something." She left from behind the bush. The other six followed her.

Al began power walking along with Ed, so he can still try to talk sense into the shorter Elric. "Brother, aren't you going to reconsider-"

"I already made up my mind, Al." Ed replied, with a vein popping in his forehead. "Now leave me alone, I'm off to Mustang's office." He almost went from power walking to just running, but something grabbed on to his left arm. Ed turned to see who it was, thinking it was Al, but what he saw was quite a determined-looking Lebia; she looked like she wasn't planning on letting go of him.

"Iincho…" Ed trailed off.

"Sorry, Ed." Lebia said. "But you can't go yet. I won't let you. In case you forgot, you have an obligation to stay as our teacher."

"Obligation nothing!" Ed snapped, hastily forcing his arm away from her grasp. "This was all your fault, and not just you, but almost every other student screwed it up!"

"I'm very aware that I was partially responsible." Lebia complied.

"Then why didn't you stop?" Ed retorted.

"I couldn't handle it alone, Mr. Ed." Lebia answered. "A whole class of rowdy students is hard to get out of, much less bring under control."

"I repeatedly commanded you girls to stop, but you refused to listen." Ed replied.

"And that's all you did." Lebia said as a response. "You just screamed at us to stop, and that suit of armor you call a little brother just begged us to stop. It didn't help one bit."

"What are you getting at?" Ed asked, his eyebrow heading for the sky.

"What I mean is that you didn't accept any responsibility and you took no action to stop the fights yourself." Lebia answered. "As a teacher, you're supposed to set up authority and regulations and you're supposed to enforce those policies upon the students. You didn't even come up with a punishment that was enough to motivate us. All you said was that you would chastise us severely. If you were going to do it, then how would you?"

"I was trying to get to that." Ed replied. "But you wouldn't listen to a thing I said."

"Then you'll just have to work harder." Lebia said. "You didn't work as hard as you should today, and now you're finding the easy way out by just going out and quitting."

"…" Ed stood silent; letting those words sink into his head.

"She's right, brother." Al added. "I think we need to try again, and this time, we should put all we got into it. We worked so hard to prepare for our new job, but we didn't even put that same effort to the actual job itself."

"Please stay, Mr. Ed." Said Lisa, who came from behind them, along with the other girls.

"You shouldn't worry too much about those little riff-raffs girls." Enya added. "Through out the nation, villagers and city goers alike referred to us as the band of seven, and we're quite famous. We can do any damn thing. Just give us another chance and we'll help you two whip the class into shape."

"But we'll have to do most of the work ourselves." Al adjoined.

All Ed did in reply was close his eyes and smirk. "Fine. I'll give it another shot. Just get off my back. And one more false move, and it's over, understand?"

"Well do our best!" Lisa exclaimed.

"I really hope so." Ed responded. "I don't want to turn you girls down, after all you probably did to get here. In the long run, just canceling the class and leaving you with your hopes dashed will leave a nasty aftertaste."

_I'm glad to see brother came to his senses._ Al thought to himself.

(O)

The school bell rang that Tuesday. Ed stood behind his table one more time. He looked at the students before him one more time. He was ready to teach alchemy one more time, and this time, he was ready for real. Al stood beside him one more time.

"Stand up!" Lebia commanded. Every student stood up.

"Bow!" Lebia commanded. Every student bowed in respect to Ed and Al.

"Sit down!" Lebia commanded. Every student sat back down. Things seemed in order for the time being.

Ed cleared his throat, indicating that he had an announcement to make. "All right, students. First of all, your misbehavior from yesterday almost cost you the entire Alchemy seminar. I was penalized myself form my superiors for the damage you caused to the cafeteria. Military officers eat here, and they were all over me like barnacles once they found out about the damage. If it reiterates itself today, than the seminar will be canceled early with no exceptions, so I sure hope you don't repeat yourselves. Now that I got that point across, we'll finally get down to the actual Alchemy class. Be aware that the road you've chosen will be a bumpy one, and the obstacles along the way will not be easy to overcome, but if you're still willing to take this course, the you should prepare yourself for the trials and tribulations that go along with a course such as this one. While there is the Law of Conversation of Mass, Equivalent Exchange, and other basic rules that go with alchemy, but it runs much deeper, and it gets much more complicated than that. I'll do what I can to help out, but you girls will have to learn to solve all the problems yourself. For your sake, I hope you young women have the stamina and sheer willpower to persevere and pass the seminars, so you all will become state alchemists."

He opened a textbook that lay on his desk. "All right, we'll start with the first lesson. I assume all of you are practitioners, so you should practically breeze through this." And from there, Edward Elric started the class's first lesson. After a start as shaky as a plate-shifting earthquake, things finally got on track, but it was all a day behind schedule unfortunately.

Lesson 1 End

So, what do you think? Any comment is appreciated.

* * *

(Next Time) 

**Fullmetal Sensei Edward Elric!** Volume 1

Lesson 2: **The Feminine Touch**

_Psiren escaped from prison? Wait a second? Five minutes after her escape, she slipped off a roof, slid on a gutter, and fell on a wheel barrel. The wheel barrel then rolled down a hill and crashed into an oncoming car and she flew off and fell in a trashcan, where she was caught again. What's really funny is now she's my assistant. But I already have Al help me out, why have her come, too. As if work as a sensei wasn't hard enough for me._

-Edward Elric

* * *

Wow! Sixteen pages, but at least it's done. Until next lesson, Ciao! 

-GYRAX


	2. The Feminine Touch

Note: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!

**tomdj1701** – Thanks.

**Phoenix Hoshika** – I'm only human, yes. But be aware that I'm no slacker; when I'm dedicated to something, I really get into it. That's my mantra.

**Dimitri Plabato** – Spread the word, my friend!

**Wing Omega** – The characters I made up. As for why there's an all-girls class, the real reason is yet to be determined.

**Jimmy Bonez** – Thanks for the heads up.

**Drgnmastr-Alex** – That was the original premise for the project, but now it turned out to be more than that.

**VoidHawk** – I'm glad to see that you dropped by, my friend.

**J-chan Hagane no Chibisan** – I'm working. I just need a better way to preview the next chapter.

The phone rang.

The loud, incessant ringing pounded Ed's ears as if a barrage of fists went into his brain and it just never stopped. Ed was forced off his bed by the ringing, and he groaned and mumbled as he dragged his limp, lifeless body to the phone at the living room, which was about a minute of groggy, mummy walking through his apartment. He finally went to pick up the phone.

"Mmm-ello-mmmm…." Ed groaned at the brass headpiece.

"Is this the Elrics' apartment?" Said a voice at the other line. Ed picked it up and found it to be quite familiar.

"Colonel Mustang?" Ed mumbled.

"Tell me something, Ed." Roy replied at the other end. "Why haven't I made an appearance yet? All I got before was a mention and I had high hopes of at least having a good cameo. So, where's my part?"

"You woke me up at 6:00 in the morning for that?" Ed responded, growing more furious by the second, knowing very well this call was trivial, and he could just hang up on the spot.

"Am I even getting one, or is it just you and your personal harem?" Roy asked.

"Damn it." Ed answered. "You know the answer to that, now stop bothering me!" Ed hung up in a huff.

Roy looked at the bronze headpiece he was holding, and then he put it back on the phone's base. He sighed.

* * *

GYRAX Presents… 

**Fullmetal Sensei Edward Elric!** Volume 1

Lesson 2:**The Feminine Touch**

**

* * *

**  
"BWA HAHAHA HAHA!" Ed laughed off any breath he had in his lungs. He gasped for a moment, trying in vain to hold off his maniacal laughter. "Oh God! Oh God! This is way too freaking hilarious!"

"Brother?" Al said.

"Did you read this article?" Ed still tried to hold his laughter back, but to no avail. He handed a newspaper over to his suit of armor younger brother. Al closely examined the newspaper until he found an article that caught his interest.

"'Psiren broke out of prison, only to be arrested five minutes later'?" Al read it out loud. The way he said it give off the impression that he really hasn't bought the story quite yet.

"Funny article, huh?" Ed replied. "Five minutes after her escape, she slipped off a roof, slid on a gutter, and fell on a wheel barrel. The wheel barrel then rolled down a hill and crashed into an oncoming car and she flew off and fell in a trashcan, where she was caught again." Ed started laughing again. "BWAHAHAHA!"

"I hardly find that funny, Brother." Al responded. When he first came across the article, memories of their encounter with Ms. Clara came rushing back like a flood bursting from a broken dam. He was convinced up and down that she was doing what she did for the good of others, like a modern day Robin Hood. Whatever his brother said about her he tried so hard to get out of his head, because according to his beliefs, those words weren't true at all. Ms. Clara had to have some good in her, right? Her motives go deeper than just stealing for the sake of stealing, isn't that true?

Al took another good look at the article and started to read it for real. He came across something else that caught his eyes. "A higher up in the military recommend her as a potential state alchemist, but she'll need her skills to be refined. The answer was to be an assistant teacher at Fullmetal Alchemist Edward Elric's newly established alchemy class in East City." He turned to his pint-sized older brother. "Brother, Ms. Clara's going to be our assistant! Isn't that great?"

"BWA HAHAHAHA…ha?" Ed's laughing stopped after immediately. His mood dropped from laughing-his-ass-off to pure disbelief. He forcefully swiped the newspaper from Al and read the article at his own turbo-drive speed. He came across the same thing that caught Al's interest and transformed his expression again, this time from disbelief to pure horror from the revelation before him. He did NOT like what he read. "SHE'S COMING HERE?"

"Isn't that great, Brother?" Al asked, obviously ecstatic over the "good news"; at least it's good news to him.

"GET YOUR BRAIN OUT FO THE GUTTER!" Ed shouted. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH HARDER IT'S GOING TO BE WITH HER AROUND?"

"Don't be like that." Al answered. "I'm sure she'll behave." He was still clinging to his beliefs of her alleged pure motives.

"And I have egg in my shoes!" Ed retorted.

"I saw scrambled egg in your shoes this morning." Al said jokingly.

"NO YOU DIDN'T!" Ed screamed. Then, they heard squealing from the cafeteria, which was now just ahead. Now alert, they quickly dashed over to the cafeteria, where the class was taking place, but a girl with curly brown hair cut them off. Her bangs parted from the center of her face and two thin wavy strands went over her ears. Her eyes seemed to be closed.

Ed looked up at her; she was apparently pretty tall for a girl. "Student #14, Natsume Ishikawa?"

"I see you're remembering our names." She said in quite a cheerful tone. "Anyway, you gotta see this. It's the cutest thing, ever!" She took Ed by the hand and dragged him to where the class was. Al followed suit, making sure that he wouldn't be too far from him.

Natsume stopped at a crowd of Ed's students; a lot of them were happily clamoring over something. She let Ed go and went over to the crowd.

"Sensei's here!" Natsume exclaimed enthusiastically. "Quick! Give him the picture!"

The other students force a picture onto Ed. He had no choice but to take it. He examined it closely, but it wasn't long until something clicked in his head. Then, just one word managed to escape from his mouth. "…Crap."

"What's wrong, brother?" Al asked, as he began to worry about his brother, judging from his mood.

Two more words got out of Ed's mouth. "Lieutenant Colonel."

"Heya, Ed!" Lt. Colonel Maes Hughes greeted, while giving out photos to the sparkly-eyed crowd of awe-stricken young girls. "They can't get enough of my little Elysia!"

"This is a class, damn it!" Ed shouted. "And the bell's about to ring!"

"I just wanted to congratulate you on your new job and go back to work; I have a newly developing case I have to deal with," Hughes replied. "But these girls insisted on me giving out photos of my Elysia. Of course, I was happy to oblige."

"Somehow, I knew that." Ed responded. "Anyways, thanks for that. I'll need all the compliments I can get to boost my morale. I'm dealing with a whole gaggle of troublemakers here." He turned to the clamoring girls. "Alright, time to give Hughes back the photos. He has to go back to work." The girls all uttered a mass pouting as they gave the Lieutenant Colonel back his photos seemingly in defeat. They really did want to keep the photos, their disappointment obviously showing as the last of the photos was returned.

"Sorry about that, Hughes." Ed spoke.

"It's ok. I'm glad to see how many people could be on the same wavelengths as me." Hughes said jokingly. "Well, I'm off now. And one more thing: I hope your new assistant won't pose any trouble to you."

"So Ms. Clara's really coming here?" Al was ecstatic at this point.

"You met her?" Hughes replied.

"You can say that." Ed answered. Every time he thought about Clara, he thought of Psiren, the Phantom Thief. She was a nuisance through and through. The small state alchemist had to go through a lot of crap to stop her and preserve the good name of Alchemy. Add to it that she even managed to make a fool of him once, so he worked even harder to catch her. He almost drowned rising that large hand from the canal's floor and grasping her like she was his own prized possession. Quite a lot to stop her, and Al's defending her actions with some excuses that were supposed to be possible reasons didn't help, either. Now, he found out that he did all that to catch her, only to find out that he practically has to baby-sit her. The thought of it made him want to puke.

"That'll save us the trouble of introducing her." Hughes replied casually, taking no notice to Ed's current displeasured position. He turned to leave the cafeteria. "Good luck, Ed. And one more thing."

"What?" Ed asked.

Hughes suddenly turned serious. Ed picked this up right away, and he knew there that it couldn't be good news. "There's supposed to be a state alchemist killer running around here. I don't have the time to disclose any more info, but I'll tell you this: for all our sakes, I hope this case is solved before your students graduate." He left, leaving an unusually gloomy air behind. Ed was breathing in this air, and it made him feel concerned.

Al turned away from the girls when he sensed Ed's current mood. He went over to check up on things, to make sure his brother is all right. "What's wrong, Brother?"

"Nothing," Ed replied, to assure Al that there's no real problems here. He didn't want Al to feel like he did. "I was just thinking of something. Now let's get ready for class. The bell will probably ring any second, and we have some teaching to do."

"Sure," Al complied. He decided to play along, not wanting to drag whatever matter was bothering his brother. They both walked over to their desk in front of the class, and sure enough, the bell rang.

(O)

"All right, girls." Ed spoke to the class as he resided behind his desk. "Before we start our lessons, I have an announcement to make." The girls were paying plenty of attention to him, some paying too much. "Al and I are going to have a new assistant teacher come into class today, so I would like you all to welcome her. The thing is, she was supposed to already be here. She's running late."

"Deadbeat!" A student yelled from the back.

"Cut it out!" Ed shouted back. He cleared his throat to speak again, but was cut short by another voice.

"You're saying she's a WOMAN?" Said a voice, this one was closer to him Ed turned and saw Enya with her brows slanted into the anger position.

"Yeah, she's a woman." Ed answered. "You have a problem with that, then you'll have to deal with it. I don't want to have any more trouble then I'll have to deal with."

"You met her?" Lebia asked.

"Yeah, I did." Ed replied, growing increasingly angry. "AND I WISH I DIDN'T! AAAAAAGH!"

"Come on, Brother." Al interjected. "She's not that bad."

"YOU STILL HONESTLY THINK THAT AFTER ALL THE CRAP SHE PUT US THROUGH?" Ed retorted.

"As a matter of fact, I do!" Al spat back.

"WELL, YOUR BRAIN'S BROKEN!"

"**YOUR** BRAIN'S BROKEN!"

"Ahem!" Apparently, it was a female who cleared her voice. Ed and Al turned to their right, where the sound resonated from, and saw "her".

Clara was dressed in a dark red suit, with a white button shirt underneath and a darker red tie tucked nicely in her blazer. Her skirt extended almost down to her knees, and gray stockings covered her legs. Black high heels were worn over her feet. Her hair was put up in a cute bun, and she was wearing glasses over her eyes. She gave a stern look at Ed and Al, who were just bickering a second ago. Then, she put her hands on her hips. "Do I have to put you two in time out?"

"We're the teachers here, damn it!" Ed snapped.

"Oh my!" Ms. Clara took a step back. "That is not the tone you use on me, mister!"

Suddenly, Enya walked up to her, with her thin eyebrows slanted in the anger position, wrinkles formed around her eyes to intensify an expression of pure irritation. She stared at Ms. Clara, and hard too. She looked back at Ed and pointed at her. "Who the hell is that?"

"She's my assistant, Ms. Clara." Ed replied, trying to regain his composure for the sake of teaching the class professionally.

Enya looked back at Ms. Clara. "You better not do ANYTHING to Sensei, or I'll shove my ice skates so far up your-"

**WHAP!**

"That's enough, Milosovich!" Lebia said. Apparently, she had just whacked Enya with one of her favorite dancing fans. She looked at the older Elric. "Pardon us, Mr. Ed. It's just that aside from me and the rest of the 'Sisterhood of Seven', she can't stand other women, especially older ones."

"That isn't going to make things any easier." Ed sighed.

"So, you still after the Philosopher's Stone?" Clara whispered into his ears.

"Of course I am." Ed replied, very sure of his answer. "Why would I ever say otherwise?"

"Being a teacher will seriously get in the way of you little stone hunt." She whispered back. "Of course you know that, right?"

"Yeah." Ed answered. "I'll have to compensate for that. I can always take the rest of the day to manage my schedule. I'm sure I can fit 'searching for answers' in there somewhere."

"Besides," Al added. "It isn't like we won't learn anything from teaching these girls in the end. And besides, they need our guidance."

"We'll definitely learn something about what makes girls tick." Ed sighed once again. "But Al's right; we can't turn away from them now. They have their own dreams to fulfill, after all, and we'll just have a huge chip on our shoulders."

All of a sudden, Enya, our orange-haired, yellow-eyed wonder girl poked her nose into the conversation. "It looks like you guys are acting awfully chummy with her. I thought you guys didn't want her presence."

"That's rude!" Clara snapped. "Eavesdropping on others' conversations like that."

"Really, Milosovich." Ed added. "Get back to your seat. I'm about to give lessons in just a second. And what's with the clamoring in the back? I thought Hughes went back to work." A gaggle of students bunched up and gathered around a single spot in the back.

"That's just Little Ms. Ford's new dragon pen." Natsume answered. "She got it yesterday. Honda-san insisted she pick the item up; they both found it lying on the street near the outskirts of East City before they signed up for the seminars. Rumor has it that the pen is worth a fortune. However, she decided to turn the item over to the military where they'll put it into safekeeping until the real owner is found."

"That's nice and all, but can you please tell them that class has started?" Ed requested.

"Sure thing." Natsume complied. She casually walked over to inform the others that class has already begun and they were to take their seats immediately. They complied, some pouting because they wanted to see more of whatever Student #25 Henrietta Ford was holding.

Ed turned to Henrietta. "And can you please put that item away? It's distracting the other students."

"Okies, Sensei." Henrietta replied, as she put the pen in her skirt's right pocket. Henrietta Ford was the younger of the Ford sisters that signed up for the class. Her hair was blonde and it extended down to her shoulders. It parted from the center of her face and covered her ears. Her right eye was blue while her left one was brown. This was a rare case among people known as heterochromia iridium, where two eyes are different colors from one another. It was a trait distinguishing enough to have Ed himself distracted for a second; he hasn't really seen anyone with that condition in person. Then he snapped out of the small trance and went back to lecturing.

Clara, however, had a smirk freely draw itself across her face.

(O)

Today was Wednesday of the class's fist week, and Ed was still giving out lectures and handing out assignments covering the first of three parts of basic alchemy, which is Understanding Matter. The girls had to do exercises pertaining to what certain elements were made of. At the time, Ed also threw in a lesson on one of the most important, if not THE most important law of basic alchemy, Equivalent Exchange.

Ms. Clara was to check up on the students' progress and point out any errors. Except by the time she went to Henrietta, her own objective changed in a flash; she just wants the pen, now. And funny enough, Henrietta was writing her assignments with the dragon pen.

The Dragon Pen was blue in the middle. The cap of the pen was pure gold with a dragon holding it, seemingly for its dear life, hence the name "Dragon Pen". The tip was also solid 24 karat gold. Clara couldn't take her eyes off it, even if she tried. It would be below her to take something valuable from someone if it was private property, for it wasn't her mantra. However, Henrietta decided to turn it to the military for safekeeping later because she decided it wasn't hers, and it would be better if the real owner had it. Clara's excuse then would be that she could take it while it was in the Military's safekeeping. To her, that would count as taking something from a facility most like a museum, which was more like her. She decided to stick with that excuse, but she surprisingly decided to take a different action; she just wanted to hold the splendorous beauty.

Ms Clara approached little Henrietta. "Excuse me, Ms. Ford, but can you hand over the pen to me? I can take it off your hands and put into safekeeping myself, to save you the trouble of having to do that on your own."

"Oh, no you don't!" Ed shouted, as he quickly approached Ms. Clara at a hyperactive running pace. "Ms. Ford, don't let her have the pen. Her fingers are sticky, if you know what I mean. Let me safe keep it."

"Okies, Sensei." Henrietta replied. She handed the Dragon Pen over to Ed. "I hope you don't have sticky fingers, too."

"Don't worry about me." Ed assured her. "I'm no thief."

"You don't think Clara would go that low to steal anything from one of our students, do you?" Al asked, hoping for the right answer.

"Actually, I do." Ed answered, which was not what Al wanted to hear. "She showed exactly what lengths she'd go to steal something that valuable."

"I'm done, Sensei." Natsume said from a distance.

"Hold on, I'll come check on it in a minute." Ed replied. He turned back to Ms. Clara. "I'm keeping an eye on you. Don't try anything funny. And I'll KNOW when you'll try to steal this item again, as it's in my custody at the moment."

Clara just glared at him for the moment. Al's stare wasn't as hard, but you could hardly tell that because of the helmet that's supposed to be his head.

"After class, I'll be turning this over to the military myself. Understand, Ms. Clara?" Ed turned back to look at her dead in the eyes. Clara was still glaring at him for the moment, and the students that were already done with their class work were now starting to poke their noses into the affair that unraveled before them.

(O)

"It's safe, now." Al assured his elder brother, as he walked out of Lt. Hawkeye's office.

"I might stay up tonight just to be sure," Ed replied. "Because you can't be too careful."

"Isn't that why you suggested that we hand it over to Lt. Hawkeye?" Al asked as a response.

"Yeah," Ed agreed. "Bu to be safe, I want to stick around."

"You're really up in arms about this, Brother." Al replied.

"Of course I am." Ed answered. "Especially because of the added pressure; if she steals something, she won't get punished this time; I will because I failed to accept responsibility. It's just a big mess; that's all it is."

"You're stressing out Brother." Al said. "We just need to keep our composure and see this all through. It won't be that much of a problem."

"Easy for you to say." Ed replied. "You don't have it nearly as bad as I do."

"Well," Al responded. "I think you're worrying too much. Just relax a bit; you'll live a longer life."

"All right, I'll relax." Ed conceded. "How about we find a place to hide, so we can watch over her?"

"All right, Brother." Al agreed. As much as he's for Clara's motives, or what he thought were her motives, he couldn't let her steal any more. There just seemed to be no reasons for her to go around being a thief anymore, because she was placed in a new and more wholesome position. Then again, now that she was an assistant, chances of her wanting to steal may have lessened. The two brothers couldn't take any chances though; Clara was quite an unpredictable woman.

(O)

Night fell upon East City, and the moon shone a blue light upon the place, except the light pollution from the city made it difficult to see whether or not the moon was shining any light at all. As they discussed, the Elric brothers were hiding behind a bush near where Hawkeye's offices was, hoping to catch Psiren in the act. So far, nothing really happened.

"I was expecting her to be here, already." Ed complained, keeping his voice to minimum decibels.

"You think she may have found another way in?" Al suggested. "Maybe she used alchemy to sneak in." Deep inside though, Al was hoping that maybe she wouldn't really steal anymore.

"That's a possibility." Ed complied. Ed knew damn well that she'd come. Just by looking at her when she saw the Dragon Pen, he had enough proof.

Suddenly, they heard earsplitting gunshots from the office. Suddenly, they saw her; Psiren got out of the window, and she fell right on to the ground. This surprised Ed and Al; they didn't expect to see her crash, as she wasn't the type to be so clumsy. Psiren recovered fast and ran away. The two Elrics saw an expression of pure dread in her face. She was obviously afraid of something, which explained her clumsiness. Just then, they saw Riza chasing her down, shooting at her. And now they knew why Psiren was so frightened.

"Give that back, now!" Riza demanded, firing a couple more rounds at the thief.

This time, Psiren wasn't just running for her freedom, she was running for her LIFE. This was definitely a first for her. "Damn you, Edward Elric! How dare you leave something that precious in the custody of a psychopath?"

Ed ran from behind the bush that he and his brother were hiding behind. "Come on, Al! We have to stop her!"

"Right." Al complied, as he followed his brother out of the bush and into the street.

Psiren was now holding a water balloon; she intended on throwing at her pursuers. Before Riza shot again, the thief tossed the water balloon behind her. Out of the blue, the balloon exploded in a burst of vapor, which engulfed Riza, as well as the Elrics, forcing them to shield their eyes.

"Damn!" Ed cursed. "She used alchemy to evaporate all the water in that balloon!"

"We must hurry!" Riza commanded. "We can't let her get away with that pen!"

Psiren just grinned as she put more and more distance between her and her pursuers. She kept running, but she didn't see what was in front of her, so as a result, she bumped into a male figure. Not only did the figure fall backwards, but Psiren also fell forwards, ending up on top of him.

The pursuers went out of the vapor cloud in time to see it happen. After they approached Psiren, they realized that the man she was on top of was Colonel Roy Mustang.

Roy tried to get up, but he quickly found out that his efforts were for naught; a woman was actually on top of him. First thing he did, though was rub his head; his head bumped on the hard brick street when Psiren fell on him. Then, he took a good hard look at the woman on top of him. Needless to say, her beauty enraptured him.

"Well, aren't you a looker?" Roy remarked. This made the nubile thief blush. The colonel continued. "And you fell right on top of me. It's a miracle from the skies above."

"Why thank you." Psiren replied. "I work hard to attain this beauty."

"And it paid off." Roy said in response. "Every physical aspect seems to be fine tuned."

"COLONEL?" Ed screamed, his rage in the brink of a meltdown. "SHE'S A DAMN THIEF!"

"She may steal like a thief," Mustang replied. "But she's always a woman to me."

"Colonel Mustang!" Riza shouted.

"However," Roy said. "The Dragon Pen is military property at the moment." With that, he snatched the pen right out of Psiren's right hand. Then he pushed her off of him, stood back up, and threw the pen at Lt. Hawkeye; she caught it nicely.

Ed and Al just stared at him, attempting to analyze the past scenario and figure out what just happened here. It wasn't long until they did, though; they do catch on fast.

"You had me startled there, Colonel." Ed remarked. "I thought you really fell for her."

"Please, Ed." Roy said. "You underestimate me. I was only out here to make sure the pen remained in proper custody. It is in the military's custody, and if anything were to happen to it, I would be the one to take the blame for failing to accept any responsibility for guarding the said item."

"You knew this would happen, did you?" Ed sweat dropped.

"I'm pulling any strings here, so don't jump to anything." Roy answered.

"You're a slime ball, you know that?" Psiren said.

"Ouch." Roy replied. "You shouldn't go and hurt people's feelings like that."

Psiren only growled at him, with a vein popping up in her forehead. "Do you even know the predicament I'm in right now?"

"Nope." Roy answered casually.

"You should," The thief replied. "Because I'm trying to get the money needed to pay the expenses here. The apartment you guys gave me is nice and all, but it's too expensive. If I don't pay up, I won't even have a home to go to, and I'll just be another wandering soul, with no place to call home. I'll be combing the streets in rags, wondering where my next meal will come from. I'll have to resort to thievery."

"But you already ARE a thief!" Ed retorted.

"That's not the point!" Psiren spat back. "The point is that unless I pay up, I'll be homeless."

"See, Brother?" Al added. "I told you her motives were good."

"Not really." Ed answered back. "Because you see, because she's our assistant teacher, the military gave her an apartment free of charge."

"My apartment is free?" The thief's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

"Yep." The older Elric answered. "But guess why." He pauses for a moment, expecting any answer Psiren would mutter out, he got nothing, so he continued. "Because _I_ have to pay for all the expenses that go with my teaching position; they're practically draining my account!"

"Oh…" Clara trailed off at the thought of that. It was safe to say now that her plans were officially foiled…again.

(O)

"Do I have to have this thing on?" Ms. Clara whined, as Thursday's class was about to begin. Because of the incident from last night, she was forced to wear a tracking device around her left ankle. It was there to make sure that she didn't do anything else stupid. The small light on it was blinking a bright red at half-second intervals, indicating that it was indeed working.

"Yes you do, or else you'll steal something again, and I'll have to be punished." Ed answered.

Enya went over to the two, and glared hard at Ms. Clara. "You better not try anything funny on Sensei, you got it?"

"Sit down, Milosovich." Ed commanded. Enya had to comply, and so she sat at her designated seat on one of the cafeteria tables. Ed then turned to his feminine assistant. "All I can say for now is behave and good luck. It's going to get ugly from here." He left her at the teacher's desk to talk to Al about today's lessons.

All she could do right now was take Ed's advice; unless she did behave, it will all go down from there.

Lesson 1 End

So, what do you think? Any comment is appreciated.

* * *

(Next Time) 

**Fullmetal Sensei Edward Elric!** Volume 1

Lesson 3: **The Sisterhood of Seven**

_Seven endearing young women,_

_Seven truly gifted alchemists,_

_My brother was their inspiration._

_Every time they see his face, _

_They drive themselves harder and harder._

_What are they aiming for?_

-Alphonse Elric

* * *

I would like to thank everyone for their reviews; I appreciated them all. Also, I did some fixing up on Lesson 1, so you can go and reread it if you like. And if you want, please feel free to lend any suggestions as to how to further the story; I'll see to it that I take all ideas into consideration. Anyways, ciao! 

-GYRAX


	3. The Sisterhood of Seven

Note: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!

* * *

_Fullmetal Sensei Edward Elric!_ Student Profiles 

#2. Name: Lisa Franksteiner

Age: 15

Birthday: June 8th

Sign: Gemini

Height: 168 cm.

Weight: 47 kg.

Eye Color: Blue

Hair Color: Brown  
Likes: Marionettes, cute things, possibly Ed

Dislikes: Her freckles

#7. Name: Enya Milosovich

Age: 16

Birthday: November 30th

Sign: Sagittarius

Height: 170 cm.

Weight: 50 kg.

Eye Color: Yellow

Hair Color: Orange

Likes: Guys in general, ice skating, frozen confections

Dislikes: Women, especially older ones

Note: Is often referred to as the "Physical Embodiment of the Female Stereotype".

* * *

GYRAX Presents… 

**Fullmetal Sensei Edward Elric!** Volume 1

Lesson 3:**The Sisterhood of Seven**

**

* * *

**It was a marvelous Friday morning for Edward Elric.

The smaller but older of the brothers pushed his body up, so it would it nice and straight. He still felt a bit groggy, even after rubbing his eyes, seeing as he was not exactly a morning person, and he always had to wake up at 6:30 in the morning; his eyes were not even fully opened yet. However, a bright light radiating from the sun greeted him through his window. It beamed on his face, bringing extra warmth with it. Though a bit sleepy, Ed was a little delighted by this warmth.

But there was another feeling conflicting with his current mood; it was one of unease and suspicion. This small sensation was enough to really wake him up. After opening his eyes completely, he scanned the area of his bedroom. The first thing he noticed was that Al wasn't at the wall where he normally was. The second thing he noticed was the lineup of seven girls in maid uniforms, sitting at a _seiza_ position in front of his bed. Ed took his time to identify all of them by their features. It didn't take long until he realized who they all were; it was the "Sisterhood of Seven" from earlier. Lebia and her crew were dressed as maids and sitting right in front of his bed.

"Good morning, _Sensei_!" They all bowed as they greeted him in a heartwarming tone. The problem, however, was that Ed has immediately seen the problem here; they were at _his_ house.

"What are you girls doing here?" Ed asked. He was not in the mood to deal with this now. After all the crap he went through being the teacher, from the numerous fights between students, to having to deal with Ms. Clara constantly, he did _not_ want this at all.

"We want to make it easier for you, Mr. Ed." Lebia replied, as she pushed the bridge of her slim glasses over her silver gray eyes. "We understand wholeheartedly that you were having such a hard time with your job through this entire week, and we didn't want Friday to go as badly s the first four days, so we came to assist you in any way possible."

"I appreciate it." Ed answered, still feeling irritated over something. "But the thing is, you're on private property."

"Sorry for the intrusion." Lisa apologized. "So, how about we make up for it? We'll do your nails!"

"I'll change your clothes!" The delightful redhead Enya chimed in, her yellow eyes shimmering with merriment, as she was swimming in her own fantasies.

"I can change my own clothes, thank you!" Ed shouted, as he grew angrier and angrier, further convincing himself that these "maids-in-training" were determined not to leave the apartment.

"Even better!" Lisa exclaimed. "I'll give him a full back massage!" Our ruffle-haired young lady approached Ed, her heart warmed up knowing that she'll be able to help her troubled teacher.

"That should be _my_ job!" Enya retorted, worried that Lisa would have the boy all to herself; heaven forbid her fantasies cane crashing down on her. She could not help it; she was obsessed with him. She did not meet boys very often before she signed up for Ed's class.

"I claimed it first, so it isn't!" Lisa retorted, trying to get Enya as far as she can get her away from their beloved teacher as possible.

"What the hell is your issue?" The redhead spat at her.

"I just want to keep your hormones in check!" Lisa snapped. She pulled Ed right out of his bed by his legs and practically threw him on the floor.

"Be careful with him!" Lebia commanded, knowing very well that things were already starting to go downhill from here.

Ed was now lying on the floor, pissed off and in pain from banging on his chin on the hardwood. He frantically tried to get up, but Lisa already had her hands on his back. He was apparently too mad at the moment to enjoy her "services". Lisa, however, was grinning at Enya, silently telling her that victory belonged to her. This infuriated the redhead to no end.

"Get your clammy hands off of him!" Enya shouted. The vein popping in her forehead indicated that she just about had it. She came over to the ruffle-headed girlie and kicked her straight in the face. Quickly after, she picked Ed up and forcefully put him back on his bed, laying him on his stomach. Then, she threw herself on top of his back; she started giving him a massage of her own. She felt a bit low for having to result to this measure already, but that feeling began to dissipate rapidly because she knew that her little desires were fulfilled for the time being.

"I already told you were not to get anywhere near a boy unless you knew him!" Lebia commanded.

"But I _do_ know him!" Enya shouted back, trying hard to make sure she could remain on top of her beloved teacher.

Ed was angry as hell now. If you looked past Enya and looked directly at him, you could see steam literally coming from his ears. He was a little steam engine, but he was going nowhere fast. Then, out of the blue, Lisa came and grasped Enya's wavy hair, and started pulling it with all of her might.

At this point, our little "bluenette" Meryl turned her head away; she couldn't stand watching fights; they were too appalling for her to watch. Alex turned her head away for a different reason; she was too ashamed to watch. Han, however, was at the edge of her seat; she was practically waiting for a chance to just jump in and take in the "festivities".

"Al, do something!" Ed shouted to the seven-foot suit of armor that was his brother, who was standing at one corner of the bedroom, feeling regretful over something.

"Sorry, _Oniisan_." Al said, his voice sounding a bit shaken as it resonated from the confines of his helmet of a head. "I couldn't do anything to stop them."

"You're just standing there, damn it!" Ed shouted back, still infuriated over the thickheaded girls who were only busy with their little catfight. He was convinced Al did not really _want_ to do anything to stop the girls, seeing as how much a softie he was; he figured out that part of Al's persona, as well as a few other traits, after being with him for practically his whole life.

Lebia was already fed up with it; this was _not_ what she hoped would happen. The whole purpose for being here was practically defeated, nay, obliterated. She pushed up her slim glasses over her eyes and gave Marcia, standing to her left, a good hard glare, giving the tall bronze goddess the impression that she was ready to issue her a command, specifically.

"Marcia!" Lebia shouted. "Subdue them!"

The bronze goddess complied and approached the two; she was surprisingly calm about it. She pulled them off and tossed them straight at Lebia's feet. She was merely carrying out orders, after all.

"Don't be so hard on them!" Ed shouted after he saw the girls practically thrown onto the floor.

"They must be punished." Marcia replied, knowing full well that in the long run, this was for the girls' own good.

"Now stay there." Lebia said, rising up one of her folded paper fans. She came down on them and ---

WHACK!

"Just let me change my clothes, and we'll be off to school." Ed sighed. He has grown from angry, to just plain tired; he was already fed up with it. Suddenly, his right arm was being pulled. Thinking that the mayhem started all over again, he turned behind him hastily. "What is it?"

"Your arm." Lisa replied. It just so happened that it was her holding on to his arm. "It's fake."

"Oh yeah." Ed replied.

"Why?" Lisa asked, as curious as could be.

"I can't tell you." Ed mumbled. He did not want to give away his past with anyone. He felt it was not a good idea to tell them about his mother, and how she died, as well as how he and Al attempted to transmute them back to life, only to have Ed's right arm and left leg, as well as Al's entire body, taken away from them. And all that pain was just to create this ugly, unholy amalgamation of flesh that just stared at him with the most demonic eyes that he could ever recall; it was gasping for air, as it was moving around, crawling all over itself. It was a nightmare that Ed or al could ever get out of their heads.

"Just forget you saw it." Ed added. He went over to his closet and threw the door open, revealing his wardrobe.

It turned out that all his outfits were exactly the same, red coat, black shirt and pants, and everything.

The girls just gasped. "Dayamn! He _does_ wear the same thing!" It was just like in a cartoon.

(O)

"We may already be late as it is." Ed spoke as he, his brother, and the seven young ladies behind him were walking the streets towards where their class was to take place. Ed was still a bit annoyed by their expected visit, but the cool morning air calmed the younger Elric down a bit. The seven girls behind him were now in their respective school uniforms.

"Sorry, _Sensei_." Lisa apologized. She was a regretful for unable to help out her troubled teacher, but at the same time, she was a little furious because most of it was that redhead's fault. Every five seconds, she would give a quick but accusing glare at Enya.

"Really," Al replied. "It's ok. I know you mean to help out _Oniisan_, but you need to control yourselves."

"Tell _her_," Lisa sneered, looking at Enya again.

"What the hell is your issue?" The redhead spat out again.

"I told you!" Lisa retorted. "You need to keep those damn hormones in check! Even ask Lebia!"

"She's right." Lebia just nodded, really hoping that would end the puerile little squabble, but alas, it made Enya angrier, much to the leader girl's disappointment.

"Are you trying to turn the world against me?" Enya protested.

"Don't overreact!" Lisa replied. "I just don't you to throw yourself all over my Ed like a cheap – "

"What did you say?" The redhead cut her off. "_Your_ Ed?"

Lisa covered her mouth; she just made a big mistake, and she knew it very well. She whispered to herself, "Crap!"

"You tried to steal him, didn't you?" The furious redhead ran up to the older Elric, who was just about to make a break for it. She practically clung to him before he got a chance to even put one foot in front of another. Enya quickly turned to her freckled rival and snarled at her. "Hypocrite! You shall burn in hell for that!"

"You let him go!" Lebia commanded. "This is not to be tolerated within the Sisterhood!" Though her command was strict and to the point, she knew that the redhead was not listening, nor was Lisa.

"Let him go this instant!" Lisa cried out. "You heard Lebia! And what is this 'I'm going to burn in hell'? You're coming with me, Lust-freak!"

"You shut the hell up!" Enya gave her quite a demonic glare. It even gave Ed and Al a spook. "Why should I listen to you? So you can smother him behind our backs?"

"Just let me go!" Ed yelled out. He has had enough of this, so he used all of his strength, and luckily with the help of his mechanical arm, he pushed her out of the way. The sheer force had him take a few steps back.

"See that?" Lisa said, hoping that finally, the redhead would actually get the point. "_Sensei_ hates it!"

"Weren't _you_ going to try it too?" The redhead spat back. "Stop making excuses and pretending to be the good girl, and admit it!"

"Why don't you just leave people alone?" Lisa growled. "At least I restrain myself from straddling just about every guy within my field of vision!"

"That's it!" Enya cried out. "You're a dead bitch!" She tackled her freckled rival down to the sidewalk. It didn't take much for the scuffle to become a full-fledged catfight. A cloud of dust covered over the fight; fists and feet were flying all over the place.

"Cut it out, girls!" Ed shouted. Like with Lebia, Ed knew that the girls weren't listening to him.

Again, our little bluenette Meryl turned her head away; she couldn't stand watching fights; they were too appalling for her to watch. Alex turned her head away for a different reason; she was too ashamed to watch. Han, however, was at the edge of her seat; she was practically waiting for a chance to just jump in and take in the "festivities".

"Marcia!" Lebia demanded, again looking at the bronze goddess, who was standing to her right, ready to issue her command. Marcia picked it up instantly. Lebia spoke again. "Subdue them!"

"Right." Marcia complied. She walked over to the dust cloud that was almost shrouded the brawl.

Ed saw the look on her face when she approached them. "Don't be too hard on them- "

"Oniisan!" Al cut him off. "Look out!"

Ed looked around, and that was when it hit him; he was standing in the middle of the street. How could he not have noticed this at all? He was standing right there. Before he dug too deep into that thought, the sound of tires screeching pierced his ears like a dagger. He turned around, only to find out it was too late.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

And that was when a black sedan ran him over. Before he was hit, though, he had a vision of himself wearing a tuxedo, with Enya at his right and Lisa to his left, both dressed like brides. Not a good vision to have before an automobile hit you.

**WHAM!**

(O)

"We're sorry, _Sensei_." Lebia said. She was definitely feeling like crap. She should have told Ed, but she was too fixated on the catfight to notice. Then again, would you rather watch a fight or a guy standing in the middle of the street? Indeed, Lebia's day was very bad, but it was not just she. All seven girls had the same feeling.

"Damn." Ed moaned, as he was pushing his body to an upright sitting position. He looked around to see where he was; he immediately noticed that he was wrapped in bandages and sitting on a hospital bed. He looked around the room he was in, and indeed, he was in a hospital. Again, the first thing he noticed was that Al was not there. Then he looked around further and saw the seven girls standing in front of his bed. The first thing that came out of his mouth was, "Where's Al?"

Lebia took a step forward. She made it clear to the other six that _she_ was to speak. She looked straight at their pint-sized teacher. "Al's taking over for you during your absence."

"Excuse me?" Ed replied.

(O)

"Where's Shortcake-sensei?" Nami asked, knowing full well that Ed was not _here_. God forbid Ed would actually hear that. She ran her fingers through her cherry blossom pink hair.

"He's been hospitalized due to an accident." Al replied. "And he doesn't like it when people call him that." Al seemed to be aware of the fact that she only said that because Ed wasn't here.

"Yeah!" Another student called from the back. "But you're just saying that because he isn't here!"

"Oh, put a damn lid on it!" Nami spat back. She was already sick and tired of people "taking a stand"; that always pissed her off.

"Why don't you make me?" The other girl yelled back.

"Stop it, right now," Al interrupted. "Or I'll have to chastise you!" Al did _not_ like that look of this. Since he was filling in his older brother's position, he was going to go through the same burdens he was. It was not like he did _not_ want to teach; it was that he knew what Ed had to go through, and he was not sure if he himself could handle it. Add to it he had to baby-sit Ms. Clara, his assistant. Granted, he liked her, and she reminded him of his mother, but if she stole something, Ed would be all over her like barnacles on a whale. He somehow knew that this was going to get ugly fast, and that this might be too much pressure at him. How could he ever cope with this? The next thing he though up was…

_This isn't going to end well._

(O)

"Why did you girls cut class?" Ed inquired. Do they really like him that much to cut class for the sake of just visiting him?

"We wanted to see you, _Sensei_." Lebia replied. "You were knocked unconscious when the car hit you, and we had to put you in this military hospital. We wanted to apologize for our transgressions. I hope it's all right."

Ed sighed; although he didn't want to have his own students cutting his class at the end of the first week, he didn't want to be a total jerk. "It's fine."

Lebia turned to Enya and Lisa, who had bumps on their heads; the two looked awfully ashamed. The leader girl motioned her head for them to walk forward. Lisa had a teddy bear, and Enya brought roses already in a vase. Lisa put her teddy bear on the table at Ed's right, and Enya put the roses on the table at Ed's left. They both walked back and stood next to one another in front of Ed's hospital bed.

They both spoke in unison. "We apologize for our transgressions. We will never do it again." Fear could be heard in their voices; they were obviously afraid of something.

Ed noticed the bumps on their heads. "What happened to you two?"

"I took some necessary measures to make sure they were _really_ sorry for their actions, Mr. Ed." Lebia answered.

The older Elric cringed at the thought of what might have happened to the two romantic rivals.

"We assure you," Lebia continued. "You will not have to worry about any more misbehavior among the Sisterhood of Seven. We must not leave a bad impression upon our idol."

Question marks popped up all over the confines of Ed's brain. "Idol?"

"Yeah." Lisa answered. "You're our idol, _Sensei_."

"Really?" He could hardly believe what he heard. Since, when was he ever an idol? What did he do to get himself a fanbase? Though the feeling of him being an idol certainly brought him a sense of celebrity.

Lebia spoke. "Do you remember when you fixed that clock back in Kenworth?"

"Oh yeah," Ed replied. Information was rushing back to his head like a whitewater river. "It looked like it was put together, but in all the wrong places. It seemed like alchemy was the only way to fix that thing."

"That was _my_ clock." Lebia answered. "The day you fixed it was the day I almost gave up on alchemy as a whole. I tried to understand the composition of every single object, and as a result, the pressure took over me. It was just too difficult; alchemy proved to be too much work, and it took a lot of energy away from me, and I still couldn't get anything right. I have just about had it. My dead grandmother gave a clock to me when I was only six; she gave it to me the day before she died. One day, it broke, and I decided to give gave alchemy one more try; the end result was not pretty. The clock was horribly disfigured. Every time I looked at the thing, it mocked me for the failure that I was. I lost the battle again and dropped it, letting it fall on the floor; I walked way, never to see it again. That was when you came."

After wording the last sentence, Lebia smiled began to smile, and it was one so warm and gentle. "You transmuted the clock and brought it back to normal. The sound of a transmutation instantly drew my attention, and that's when I saw it. The clock was back to what it was when grandmother first gave it to me." She was reminiscing upon every syllable she spoke. "I didn't even know how to thank you, so I said nothing and just left."

"The clock was yours, then?" Ed replied. He took in delight from seeing Lebia's smile. "And you tried to fix it using alchemy? You know, I could hardly believe that I forgot about when I gave it to you."

"You inspired me to keep moving." Lebia added. "I decided to give alchemy another shot. I went to push harder in order to become a state alchemist. My friends at the Sisterhood are supporters, and they have their own reasons, too. I respected their goals and took them in as sisters, hence the Sisterhood of Seven."

"You want to become a state alchemist?" Ed inquired. "Why is that?"

"To follow my father's footsteps." Lebia answered. "Although my mother strictly protested the Military's regime, I wanted to be a state alchemist like my father. He was a first lieutenant."

"So you're really related to 1st Lt. John Malkovich?" Ed asked, theories floating around his head.

"Yeah." Lebia replied. Her smile slowly dissipated once she heard that name.

"So where is he?" Ed asked.

"He died in the War on Ishbal." Lebia responded. She never liked the though of being fatherless. "I was twelve when it happened."

"Sorry to hear that." Ed said. He began to regret asking that question, seeing the response he got and the glum expression on Lebia's face.

"It's ok." She replied. By the looks of things, though, it was all but. "What's important is that you're a source of inspiration for us. If you weren't there to help out, I wouldn't be able to accomplish my dream."

"And you're so cute, too." Lisa added.

Suddenly, Lebia's face grew a brilliant scarlet color upon hearing that accursed word, "cute". Steam blew out of her ears like she was a full-blown steam engine. Her muscles tightened to the point where she couldn't move them at all; she was frozen stiff in her tracks. A few seconds later, she unfroze herself and ran into a wall. She lifted her head up and threw it at the wall. She began to bang it repeatedly, screaming, "Must resist! Must resist!"

At the time, Enya was standing in front of him, trying in vain to cover up Lebia's strange behavior. It kind of annoyed her, but she kept a smile on her face. She kept her eyes on Ed. "In short, you're the reason why we came here."

"Is that so?" Ed replied. His response was a little half assed because he was focusing on Enya and Lebia's repeated "head banging" at the same time. "What's with her?"

"Don't worry, she's okay." The redhead answered. "She's trying to get bad thoughts out of her head." In the background, you could hear the four-eyed leader girl screaming "EVIL" while the other five girls watch her in embarrassment. Enya continued, with a sweat drop running down the left side of her head. "It's normal."

"Whatever you say." Ed replied. He did all he could to put Lebia's quirk behind him. After Enya left to help the other girls tend with Lebia, the older Elric diverted his attention to his right mechanical arm. He was staring into the arm, and the reflections from the shining steel, lost in thought. "I only fixed a clock. Who would believe something as little and insignificant as that could change someone's life for the better?"

After he thought about it, he became more aware. He was glad to lend in his services.

Lesson 3 End

So, what do you think? Any comment is appreciated.

* * *

(Next Time) 

**Fullmetal Sensei Edward Elric!** Lesson 4

**The Child Called "It"**

"_Tod zum verdammten Homunculus"_

_What does that mean?_

_Why does that word sound so familiar?_

…_homunculus…_

-Edward Elric

* * *

Until next chapter, ciao! 

-GYRAX


	4. The Child Called It

Note: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!

* * *

**Fullmetal Sensei Edward Elric! **Student Profiles

#3.Name: Zhang Han

Age: 19

Birthday: September 15th

Sign: Virgo

Height: 165 cm.

Weight: 60 kg.

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: Black with red streaks (Tied up in a ponytail. Two thick strands go over her ears. Hair parts from the right side of her face.)

Likes: Writing, her brother Tao, "Salamandrea" (her sword)

Dislikes: Anyone with a God complex, possibly her mother

Note: Claims to have someone deep within her subconscious.

#5. Name: Marcia Del Rey

Age: 16

Birthday: July 8th

Sign: Cancer

Height: 185 cm.

Weight: 57 kg.

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: Dark Brown (Almost Black) (Extends to her back. Bangs don't part, but they go slightly over her ears.)

Likes: Shogi (Japanese Chess), Ice Cream

Dislikes: Teddy bears

Note: Is often referred to as the "Bronze Goddess".

* * *

GYRAX Presents…

**Fullmetal Sensei Edward Elric! **Volume 1

Lesson 4: **The Child Called "It"**

* * *

Alphonse heard the cafeteria doors open, so naturally he turned to see who it was. To his surprise, it was five of the seven "sisters"; Enya, Alex, Lisa, Meryl, and Lebia, who had what looked like a still-bleeding cut on her forehead. The suit of armor could not help but wonder what happened to the leader girl; needless to say the bleeding forehead shocked him. Now why would a student come in to class in that condition, with a smile on her face even? That was just wierd. As was natural, he just had to ask.

"What happened to her?"

"Don't worry about it." Enya answered casually. "She just got some dirty thoughts out of her head."

At this point, Al was just plain stupified. _Those must have been some pretty nasty thoughts._ He sweat dropped. Then he realized something else; there were only five of them. "Where are the other two?"

"Oh them," Lisa replied without missing a beat, knowing he was going to ask sooner or later. "Marcia and Han are still in the hospital, tending to Ed's wounds."

"That's nice to hear. _Nii-san _could use some company. I would like to accompany him, but I have teaching to do." It was a nice thing to do. Al was glad that the students were considerate enough to stand by his brother's side.

"No problem, Mr. Al." Lebia gave him a thumbs up, even though her forehead was _still_ bleeding. Al was still a bit creeped out by Lebia's strangely cool attitude. It just did not seem right. Al sweat dropped again.

"Mr. Al!" Another student cried out while rubbing the back of her head. "Nami threw a pencil at me!"

"I did not, you lying little bitch!" Nami protested furiously. "How many times did I tell you that I just fell and the pencil flinged off of my hand?"

"You threw it at me!"

"No, I didn't!" Nami's roar was growing more ferocious. "You have a grudge against me or something?"

"You threw it at me!"

"Shut the hell up, you broken record!" She knew right there and then that the other gilr just wanted to get her in trouble. It _had_ to be some kind of grudge.

Al hung his head in embarrassment; just when he thought it was all over, God threw another curveball at him, and he was not good at swinging the bat. Nonetheless, life sucked today for Alphonse Elric. He silently prayed for his dear brother's return, hoping that maybe he will come to the cafeteria in a miraculous swoop and solve all of this with the grace of a dragonfly. Then he remembered how he handled almost all of the previous days and he sighed in defeat.

(O)

"I appreciate you staying here," Ed spoke, lying on his respective hospital bed with a cast wrapped around his right leg as he felt the unnecessarily cold and bitter air coming out of the air conditioner. "But it's ok. I'll be fine here. You two should go back to class. You still have some time left."

"We're not leaving without you, Ed." Han replied, sitting to his left. Of course she did not want to leave, because she felt that if she and Marcia did leave him there, Ed would be all alone in the hospital room --- alone and bored as hell. No one ever liked that feeling.

"Of course, you can. Al's taking over, so you don't have to worry about anything. I'm sure he'll do just as good, if not better."

"That's not the case Ed." Han did not think that Ed got her message clear. "All we want is for you to recover as quickly as possible. Besides, do you really want to be alone in this place?"

"Don't worry, I'll be fine. I've been through much worse. Why are you so concerned?"

"You know, Ed." Marcia added out of the blue. "Han's training to be a nurse. She can use alchemy take care of those wounds of yours."

"No fooling?"

"No fooling." Marcia kept on her emotionless face as she said that.

Ed could not help but feel a bit irked as he just noticed the fact that the bronze goddess did not really display much emotion, if any. He let it pass and looked back at the nurse-in-training, who was ecstatic. "All right, I'll give you a shot, but i hope you know what you're doing." Of course he had to say that to merely express concern, because for all he knew she could seriously mess up everything, and who knows what would happen next?

Han, however, was feeling ecstatic. It has been a while since she got to show someone what she was made of; she simply loved the thought of displaying her prowess, whether it was to help someone in need, like in this case, or merely to impress someone. Also, she has not been given many chances to try out her medical prowess, and she usually worried over losing her touch.

She walked over towards her beloved teacher, unable to contain her excitement, but she did not want to. She stopped and stod right next to him. The nurse in training looked directly at his face and was able to catch off the hint of concern, like he did not have that much faith in her, if any. She shook it off, believing full well that she could shove that doubt right out the door.

Han dug into her right skirt pocket and pulled out a black permanent marker. She turned back to Ed.

"Now, which part of your body is broken?

Ed's face just grew red while Marcia face faulted.

"The one with the cast on it." Ed said fumingly.

"Oh right." Han sweat dropped. After a few nervous chuckles, she went over towards Ed's cast. She carefully but swiftly unwrapped it. She held Ed's broken leg and gently placed it on the bed. She took the cap off of her marker and slowly began to draw a transmutation circle on him.

Marcia turned towards the door. "I'll tell them that _Sensei_ is feeling better."

"Ok."

Marcia left the room, shutting the door behind her. Han continued with her transmutation circle.

"You're going to use alchemy to fuse my bones, muscles, nerves, and bloodvessels back together?" Ed asked.

"Bingo."

"Do you really know how to do that?"

"Duh. I've been studying every little component of the human anatomy my whole life. Just trust me, ok?" Han finally finished with the circle. She put her right hand a centimeter over it before she looked back at her teacher-patient. "I just want to tell you in advance: this may feel a bit wierd."

"Ok."

Now with Ed's consent, she put her hand on the circle and commenced the transmutation. The circle glowed a brilliant blue.

In an instant, the older Elric felt a massive, jarring pain. It felt as if someone was hammering nails right down to his bones as his tibia and fibula were fusing back together and his nerves were being repaired. Aslo, his lower calves felt like they were about to explode as his muscles were reconnecting the said bone. As they all fused back with one another, Ed then felt his muscles stretching like putty. Quickly after that, it was over. It only took three seconds to repair his right leg, but to him it seemed like one long, painful minute.

The transmutation circle was gone. Han moved her hand off of his leg, pulled his pants leg back over it, stood back upright, and looked back at him with a smile in her face. She felt good. "Done."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really." She was glad to lend in her services, and she apparently has not lost her touch.

"You can stand back up now."

"All right..." Ed complied hesitantly to Han's reassuring statement and stood up, just like she said. He was expecting some kind of pain to surge through his leg, but instead, he felt absolutely nothing, like he never broke hat leg at all. A feeling of surprise surged through his whole body, including the right leg, which was where pain was supposed to be. He was healed, and that was it; there was no pain nor was there any sign of potential swelling. It practically sounded unheard of. Ed, however, let it pass, considering he was used to what normal people would call "absurd" or "too good to be true" by now.

"Wow. Nice job. It feels just perfect."

"Yup." Ed's praise just made Han more proud of herself.

"I don't feel any sings of swelling up or anything."

"You sound like a child. You know very well it was just alchemy I used to repair your right leg directly, stabilizing the muscle to prevent swelling. Can surgery do that? I don't think so!"

"Sorry if you think that. It's just that you did a wonderful job here." Ed was moving his right leg around, swinging it around right-to-left and front-to-back.

"I'm glad you think so." Han simply smiled, clearly showing her pride.

"Who taught you that, your mother?"

"Hell, no!" Han shouted, jumping right from proud to angry. Her mood swung so fast, you would not be able to see it. Something began to flare up within her, and quickly.

"So, it wasn't your mother?"

"No. I learned it all by myself."

"Oh."

"My mother was pretty useless. All she did was sit on her ass yelling at me for not doing her every single whim."

"I'm sure she just wanted you to-"

"She didn't give a damn about me!" Han cut him off abruptly and violently, the rage building up deep within her heart. "If anything, she wanted me gone."

"Come on, now. Don't say that."

"It's true. You have no idea." She tried so hard to bottle it up, but she just could not.

"Excuse me?"

"That bitch never deserved to be my mother, so I disowned her."

"Why would you do that?"

"To lift that burden of that drug-addict's shoulders."

"Burden? Drug-addict?" Ed was confused now. What did she mean by that?

"Apparently, all I did was force her to get off her ass and hit me. She never did anything but get high."

"You're being rediculous. That can't be true. What kind of person could say that about her mother?" As he said that, he was thinking about his own mother. Ed remembered all she did for him, and taking that into account, he was getting a bit peeved at her constant mother-bashing.

"You want to see what the freak did to me?" At this moment, she had just about enough of him. He was now in a forbidden place.

"What?" Ed could not figure out what her problem was. He did not know what he said to throw her into a fit, but obviously it must have been his fault.

"Do you?" She just wanted Ed to stop prying into her personal life. The problem was that what she was planning on doing may drag him further in.

"What's wrong? I simply said that I thought your mother taught you and you got into a fit. Do you really _have_ something against her?"

"You're about to see." And with that, she unbuttoned her blazer and took it off. She undid her tie and dropped that on the ground with the blazer.

Ed could only wonder what she was up to at this very moment.

Han has slowly and reluctantly undone the top button on her white shirt. She then went to the next button down and undid it. She contined unbuttoning her shirt until she stopped in the middle. Then she took the end of her collar and pulled her shirt down until she exposed her upper back.

Ed was blushing for the moment until he saw "them"...

Two black scars went across her back, forming an X pattern. Normally, Ed would have taken this calmly, but this time around, he was just plain stunned. He could not figure out why the scars were black. Not even an infected cut turned black, so of course something was _not_ right, here.

"What the hell happened?"

"My mother did this to me."

Ed just would not take that for answer. "You cant be serious."

"I'm dead serious. She tried to kill me, Edward. She tried to kill me!"

Ed just stared at her, _now_ knowing full well that as rediculous as thigs were getting right now, she really was serious. First of all, she called him by his real name instead of _Sensei_. Second was her tone of voice. He clearly felt the anger enamating from her, and it was making his stomach hurt.

The more she thought about it, the more she cringed. "She kept slashing me, creaming '_Tod zum verdammten Homunculus_'."

Ed's eyes widened. He was stunned. For the moment, he couldn't move a muscle, as if he was frozen stiff from the inside. He just could not believe what she just said, and to make double-sure that he heard her right, he just _had_ to ask again.

"What was that?"

"She kept screaming '_Tod zum verdammten Homunculus_' at me." She felt an almost crippling blow to the stomach after she said that.

"..." Ed could not really understand the language of that sentence, but the one word he _was_ able to pick up was "homunculus". He was not sure what this meant, but what he was sure of was that this could be going a little deeper than he thought. His mind was now getting increasingly crowded with thoughts and possibilities, ranging from the rediculous to the frighteningly possible. Ed even had doubts that the girl standing with her back turned to him was even telling the truth, although she sounded very serious about it. Still, hearing her say that last word compelled him.

No matter how much it hurt, Han could not stop saying it...

"_Tod zum verdammten Homunculus!_"

There it was again. Ed heard it more clearly now, which meant that he was even more sure about what she said.

"_Tod zum verdammten Homunculus!_"

And again...

"_Tod zum verdammten Homunculus!_"

And again...

"_Tod zum verdammten Homunculus!_"

And one final time...

"**_Tod zum verdammten Homunculus!_**"

And that was when something snapped within the confines of her brain. A new kind of rage was burning within the deep chambers of her heart. However, she felt chills running down her spine, causing her to shake violently as she fell on her knees.

Suddenly, she heard a hum get louder and louder. She recognized the hum instantly; it was from the air conditioner. Somehow, it was getting louder and louder. She also heard people talking, but she did not know where. She looked around, but she saw only Ed in the room.

"Are you all right?" Ed asked the girl in concern. At this moment, he was getting freaked out by her erratic behavior. He took a few steps forward in attempt to get closer to her.

Ed's voice boomed in her hears, the thunderous sound of his footsteps also punishing her ears. It was unusually loud. That was when she found out that her hearing was becoming _much_ more sensitive. Suddenly, she felt the muscles in her eyes pulling themselves, and as they were, she saw everything around her far more clearly. It turned out that her eyesight was going beyond 20/20.

Again she felt her body shake. Her arm raised up high in the air. She tried to move it, but was shocked to find out that she could not. The arm was actually moving itself. Her body also stood up on its own; that was when she realized the even uglier. She realized the her whole body was moving on it own. She involuntarily turned towards Ed. When she saw his face, she attempted to speak, but to no avail. Now she knew that she could not even speak; she could not tell Ed to move out of the way, although she was well-aware that something horrible might happen next.

Ed just stood still, never taking his eyes off of hers; her pupils now happened to be narrow like a cat's. Ed could not help but be baffled and compelled by her behavior, as well as her change of eyes. They were not just cat-like, but they also changed to a red color. Concerned over her safety, and worrying over a possible loss of sanity, Ed had to move a little further forward.

"Are you all right, Han?"

_You idiot! Get out of here, now!_ Han pleaded in her head, knowing full well she could not even speak. Ed made one final step closer before Han's body twitched. She lunged at him, grabbing his throat instantly. She tries so hard to regain control of her body, but it all was in vain; she could not move her hands one inch. All she could do was just watch as her own hands were draining the life out of her beloved teacher.

_Damn! I'm sorry Ed! I tried so hard to stop, but I can't do a thing!_

"_Sensei_!" A voice came out from outside the room. Marcia stood at the doorstep. She only had to look at the scenario before her for a split-second before she knew there was trouble; she reacted quickly. The bronze goddess ran up to Han at lightning speed and gave her a well-placed slap to the face. Han fell face-first into the ground.

As she lied there, she could feel herself recovering. Her eyesight blurred a little and the noise around her was getting softer. Once more, she tried to take control of her body. This time, she was successful; she could move her right index finger. Silently thanking God above, she quickly but steadily stood up.

"Sometimes, she gets out of control." Marcia said. "Sorry about that. Are you all right?"

Ed, however, was shaken as he was still on all fours. In those long and winding seconds, he swore that she was going to kill him. If it wasn't for Marcia, it would not have been long before his lungs ran out of air. He was dazed and confused now; so much has happened, he could barely even keep track of it all.

Marcia lent him her hand. "Need help, _Sensei?_"

The older Elric willingly accepted her hand. The bronze goddess gave him a good pull and let him up. He wanted to ask her, even though he was aware that she might not have the answer.

"Do you know what's wrong with her, Del Rey-san?"

"Not sure what you mean." She replied, much to Ed's diasppointment.

"Never mind, then. Let's just help Han out and get back to class. Hopefully, it's not over." Ed was about to walk towards the shaken girl until he heard...

"Wait a second."

Ed turned back to see that the voice was Marcia's. "You need something?"

"Just a word for the wise."

"Eh?"

"Don't ever mention Han's mother in front of her."

Ed paused for a few seconds and looked at her. He did not have the heart to tell her that he already did today. On the other hand, he was pretty sure that Marcia may have already known that. He did not want to go any deeper into the matter, so he just complied. "Right."

Lesson 4 End

So, what do you think? Any comment is appreciated.

* * *

(Next Time)

**Fullmetal Sensei Edward Elric!** Lesson 5

**Weekend at Lebia's Part I**

_Lebia's a strong girl. I know that one day, she'll grow up to be a fine State Alchemist. However, that path is not without its obstacles, and she has many she must overcome --- including her mother. A difference in opinions makes things difficult for her. I just hopes she does the right thing._

-Alphonse Elric


End file.
